New Year Predictions, New Year Resolutions

The article, lovingly penned by the boss’s wife-to-be after consultation with the best-known psychic in the capital, would be pulled to the front page. In all fairness, the psychic did predict trouble in the Middle East (always a sure bet) and the resignation of the Turkish foreign minister (a less sure bet but one that did materialize.)

Possibly out of habit, I never fail to read the read the so-called psychic articles that unfailingly appeared on January 1st and on one rare instance, wrote one interview with a psychic, who predicted that Mr. Sarkozy would indeed win the French presidential elections (right) and PM Recep Tayyip Erdoğan would become president (wrong).

Predictions by the astrologist
After this long explanation of the tradition, let us take a look at the 2009 predictions by Hakan Kırkoğlu, the astrologist of the Milliyet daily. Mr. Kırkoğlu, after predicting a good year for the Leos and a better one for the Scorpios, went onto his star map for Turkey and the world.

Let us share it: As Mars approaches the turn of Capricorn, wrote the esteemed astrologist, there is going to be considerable violence both in the relations between states and in the country, that is, terrorism. Putting aside the economic crisis, terrorism would be on top of the agenda for Turkey.

The effects of the planet Pluto would confront the Turkish foreign policy with the need of transformation and innovation, he adds, saying that this corresponds to the developments on the Cyprus question, the developments in northern Iraq and the relations with Armenia.

The star Antares will also be influential in Ankara, he says. Antares, a bright and dense star, symbolizes rage and quick reactions in astrology.

In short, says Kırkoğlu, we are moving toward critical times.

Resolutions
The report, needless to say, was carefully read by the relevant circles, at least those of the relevant circles who stayed in Ankara during the New Year.

"You really need to get your Antares under control this year, Sir," said an unnamed adviser to a Prime Minister who shall remain nameless.

"How can I, when the Sun is such a strong influence and when Pluto gets in my way?" asked the Prime Minister. "Alright, alright. My new resolution is to pay less attention to Mars and more to the balance between the four elements." "And if I may suggest, Sir, a touch of Venus may work wonders. You know how well it worked in Paris," added the unnamed adviser.

"No, I do not think Emine would like that Ğ and God knows, her Antares is worse than anyone else’s," said the Prime Minister.

In the elegant rooms of a European Union member state’s embassy, a man with a tired and relived expression turned to his colleague. "Oh we have managed to get it over with before Mars hit the fan," he said. "Now good luck to you."

"Mars will be quite influential in my own capital, too," said the colleague. "It seems that the influence of Pluto in Ankara would be toward the east and not the west. Anyway, my New Year Resolution is to be calm."

And what is your New Year Resolution?