Türkiye'nin en iyi köşe yazarları en güzel köşe yazıları ile Hürriyet'te! Usta yazarlar ve gündemi değerlendiren köşe yazılarını takip edin.

Just not that into you...

Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, authors of the best-selling book "He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys" (surely you have watched the film, at least) have kindly agreed to take a look at women’s troubles that dominate the agenda in Turkey.


Dear Greg,

As Turkey’s self-styled style icon, I have been involved for years with an older and sophisticated man. Given our very visible lifestyle, we are under tremendous media pressure to get married, but he has not yet popped the question. Do you think it is our age difference that scares him? ĞEda T.

Dear Eda,

Worried about the age difference? I do not think so. Age differences are no concern for traditional Mediterranean men, as their wives get younger and younger with each marriage.

Liz and I hesitate to use our key phrase "he is just not that into you" for his not asking you to marry him, as we believe, from all the pictures we have seen in the Turkish media, he is very much into you. On the other hand, is it publicity that he really likes? Ask yourself this question before another icon appears on the scene.


Dear Greg,

My estranged husband, who happens to be one of the richest men in Turkey nowadays, is still part of my life. A typical Black Sea man, he is very busy with his construction empire and his seven vintage cars, not to mention his very active and much-flaunted love life.

In a recent interview, he said that he remained married as insurance against all the young women who want to entrap him. Do you think I should expect him to resume our married life after an intermission of eight years? ĞEx-A

Dear Ex-A,

He is just not that into you if he is seeing other women.

Your ex-husband is intoxicated by his newfound power and cannot keep his zipper, or his mouth shut. Liz and I watched him on a recent TV program and were simply amazed when he announced that he "likes riding anything pretty," "would make women fly, either with his private jet or without it" and "would never touch a woman more than 25 years of age."

We also noted his magazine interview, in which he quoted his (your) daughter as being disappointed because he was dating Miss Turkey’s fourth runner up, as she thought the fourth runner up could not possibly be pretty enough for her father.

Neither are we too enthusiastic about his remarks calling his marriage "insurance" and his insistence that he is, in fact, a single man. It is time for a wake-up call: Your husband is not coming back, unless it is in search of a nurse. Give the big-mouthed playboy the treatment he deserves... by crashing his Lamborghini into his yacht!


Dear Greg,

Although we have been divorced for years, my husband insists that I am still his wife and that he is responsible for my "honor." Somewhat violent in his behavior, he has stabbed me several times with a knife.

He was detained, but released with just a fine. He also killed my mother while she was trying to help me escape in a moving van to the safety of another city. There are still people around me who say that I should return to my ex-husband to save my life, as he would probably be more protective of me than the state. What is your advice? ĞDesperate

Dear Desperate,

Clearly "they" are not that into you. "They" refers to the state, the legal system and all those who should be applying the law. They should be defending your safety Ğ after all, that remains one of the responsibilities of the state.

A decision by the human-rights court may be grand, but it is still sad to see political officials criticizing the decision, saying that Turkey is doing a better job combating domestic violence and the mistreatment of women than most European Union states.

Greg was particularly touched by a recent Turkish politician’s quote that "women’s elegance and motherly wisdom must touch the EU process."

It would be great if this woman’s touch could be coupled with a good domestic policy toward women and a general vision of women as individuals, and not simply a part of a family.


Dear Greg,

How about a question from a man for once, huh? I have been courting this evasive beauty for decades and there she is, establishing house with so many others and not with me.

Only last year, we celebrated the 50th anniversary of our ties, and there she is, still reluctant to make a commitment, aside from some financial arrangements and calling me a "candidate." Do you think she is into me? ĞE.B.

Dear E.B.,

What do you think? And what have you done lately?