Türkiye'nin en iyi köşe yazarları en güzel köşe yazıları ile Hürriyet'te! Usta yazarlar ve gündemi değerlendiren köşe yazılarını takip edin.

Paying homage to Al Jaffe

This week, Erospolis pays homage to Al Jaffe, who, back in 1968, came up with a new piece for MAD magazine: Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions. For those who are not familiar with SATSQ, here is an example:

Q: (from a woman just pulled over by a police officer) Did I do something wrong, officer?

No, today we're giving tickets out for doing things right.

A: No, I just got tired of lugging around these heavy summonses, so I decided to give some of them away.

A: No, I'm giving a ticket to this crazy street because it's going the wrong way.

Erospolis applies the time-honored tradition to the current events of the week:

Q: (Overheard at the International Children’s Day Reception in Parliament) Did we keep up the tradition of having a child act as prime minister this year on Children’s Day?

No, the prime minister was too afraid to leave his seat after the local election results.

A: We did, but nobody could tell the difference.

A: We wanted to, but gave up when we saw Melih Gökçek pretending to be a kid.

Q: (Overheard at the Foreign Ministry) Have you heard the rumors that Minister Babacan has been replaced by Ahmet Davutoğlu as the foreign minister?

A: You mean Mr. Davutoğlu was not already the foreign minister?

A: Don’t ask me, I was under the impression that Mr. Gül was still in charge here.

A: Oh, I thought something was wrong when Mr. Babacan did not turn up, but I thought he was just questioned under Ergenekon.

Q: (Asked to the Turkish representative by a member of the audience after a full day of debate on Turkish accession to the EU in a conference in Brussels) Do you think Turkey will become a member of the EU one day?

As a matter of fact, I came all the way here to tell you that we Turks are no longer interested.

A: Sure. What is 50 years between friends?

A: As soon as the EU fulfills the Ankara criteria, Turks will be more than happy to accept.

Q: (Between political analysts) Why does Recep Tayyip Erdoğan want to reshuffle the Cabinet?

To punish some ministers for failing to obtain the towns where the AKP absolutely had no chance to win at the local elections.

A: Because he is tired of seeing the same faces.

A: Because, much as he wants to, he cannot change other countries’ Cabinets.

Q: Does Ergenekon really exist?

No, but the state really had to do something to compete with the ratings of "Valley of the Wolves."

A: Of course it does. Do you think the larks brought all those grenades?

A: I will give you my answer as soon as I get out of the jail!

Q: Have Turks been hit by the global economic crises?

Mehmet Şimşek certainly has. Rumor has it that he will be losing his seat as state minister responsible for economy.

A: Of course not. All those closed shops and people fired are simply taking a break.

A: Hasn’t the prime minister said the crisis bypassed us? Do you think he would lie?

Q: Will Turkey normalize relations with Armenia?

Yes. It will take a while, however, to normalize relations with Azerbaijan.

A: No. Neither of us is quite normal.

A: That’s what we told Obama, and we are sticking to it until the end of April.

Many thanks, Al Jaffe.