Redefining women around age 40: Between 35 and 55 is the best time
Güncelleme Tarihi:
by Ayşe Arman - Hurriyet
Oluşturulma Tarihi: Haziran 13, 2009 00:00
ISTANBUL - It is a common belief that women over 40 are no longer attractive and that, especially during and after menopause, their bodies and characters change for good. An expert and a columnist address this issue and come up with a totally opposite conclusion. It seems that prejudices about middle-aged women are changing positively. The period between 35 and 55 is the best time in a woman’s life, says one expert.
The mid-life crisis is usually attributed to men: the red sports car, loud motorcycle and a delicious young 20-something as a trophy. While middle-aged women are reduced to panicky caricatures of their former spirited selves, staving off the inevitable winter of menopause. The middle aged woman was discarded as old sneakers into a dumpster. But now it seems experts, columnists and even men for that matter are saying middle age on a woman is the new black, the vintage Prada, so to speak. So is beauty in youth or is 40 the magic number?
Redefining middle age, midlife and life after 40 for women, daily Hürriyet is opening the 40-year chronicles to ask: "What’s in a number?"
So what happens to a 40-year-old woman? "She enters midlife. That is a good thing. The period between 35 and 55 is the best time in a woman’s life, according to Osman Müftüoğlu, a foremost expert on anti-ageing studies. "Women begin to lose that hormonal veil" in their 40s said Müftüoğlu. This comes with both blessings and curses. First and foremost, according to Müftüoğlu, the lifting of the hormonal veil begins to liberate women sexually. This newfound liberation is not just limited to sexuality, but carries over to emotional and psychological realms as well. "Women become more introspective" during their 40s, said Müftüoğlu. There are two nervous systems that guide us, the parasympathetic nervous system and the sympathetic nervous system. These systems are at work involuntarily but as women grow older they are much better able to harness the power of their parasympathetic nervous system, which is the system that allows us to feel more serene, and allows us to slow down, according to Müftüoğlu. "After the age of 40, women begin to question their relationships, because they give priority to slowing down, they examine their relationships," he said. "And they begin to act a lot more sincere than men," he said.And men during this period? According to Müftüoğlu, men experience anxieties based in questions such as: "Who am I?" "What is my status?" "Have I secured my position?" "Have I succeeded?" and "What is my prize?" That is in direct contrast with women who begin to reflect more on the wideness of their social network and start worrying more about the people around them like husbands, friends or children, according to Müftüoğlu. Women begin to grow without as many anxieties during this period, said Müftüoğlu. "They become more enriched emotionally and come to discover the real meaning of their femininity," he said. "In contrast, men during this period, though they may not always show it, begin to withdraw. This causes panic and fear," he said.
"Medically speaking, women are more creative and more innovative" during their 40s and this means that "they can create whole new lives," according to Müftüoğlu.
Men discover femininity after 50
However, men reach this turning point in their 50s and they become more unisex in between 60 and 65, he said. "But more unisex does not mean being gay-like, it means the femininity inside them breaks out. Men become more sensitive, more proper creatures. Their tendency to violence is reduced." In contrast, men who chase after young women are usually between the ages of 45 and 55. "They have an interest in red sports cars. All of a sudden they start to go to sports centers and they become happy as their lovers’ age decline." Müftüoğlu added that this lifestyle does not continue after the age of 55.
The main reason for that change in men lies in the structure of the sperm, according to Müftüoğlu. A woman’s egg is bigger, stronger and more precious than sperm. Although a woman produces 400 eggs on average throughout her life, a man can produce millions of sperm a day, he said. "This is why women are more precious in nature. Hundreds of thousands of sperms are running after one egg and it accepts only one. This is why a woman decides in relations," said Müftüoğlu.A man’s hurry to chase a woman was in his genetic code even when he was a sperm, according to Müftüoğlu, adding that men have a hurry to impregnate, what is in his mind is what is in the sperm’s mind. Müftüoğlu "blames" the genes instead of men, saying that it is not hormones that shape women and men, but mostly genetic codes.
Some women seem to be ageless, such as Ajda Pekkan and Nebahat Çehre, Turkish singers who are known for all the plastic surgeries they have had, said Müftüoğlu. "They are like Benjamin Button; they are getting younger. I respect them but I also worry about them," he said.
The limit for plastic surgery is decided by the individuals, said Müftüoğlu. However, he said if one is having their 80th surgery at the age of 80, then it is pushing social and medical limits, said Müftüoğlu. "One should have right to remove the wrinkles on their face a bit. But one cannot remove all of them; this is a pathetic situation," he said.
As a woman gets older she comes to a crossroad in her life: menopause. Biologically, women lose some hormones such as estrogen, progesterone and testosterone, said Müftüoğlu, adding that loss of testosterone decreases sexual drive in both women and men. "Nobody can say, I went through menopause but I did not lose my sexual desires. But this is a crisis that can be managed," he said. This is not the only result of menopause, they feel uncomfortably warm and the tendency toward depression increases. It is better for women to share the fact that they have menopause with their partners, so that they can overcome the situation easier together, according to Müftüoğlu.
In his middle ages, a man is in chaos, which is, in a way, bloodier and heavier than women’s experience, said Müftüoğlu. The decrease in sexual desire happens in men too and some of them can hide this with recent medicines such as Viagra. However, he said, Viagra does not solve the problem; it only hides it, because a man’s energy is lower and he is losing testosterone, which cannot be replaced with testosterone. According to Müftüoğlu, Mediterranean and Lebanese women are the most advantageous ones in regards to the effects of menopause because of their body types. They are generally not too overweight and when they gain weight from menopause, they usually do not gain too much, or they gain the weight mostly in their hips, he said. In contrast to the first three or five years of menopause, women become more relaxed and comfortable in the later years, he said.
Redefining middle age, midlife and life after 40 for women, daily Hürriyet is opening the 40-year chronicles to ask: "What’s in a number?"
So what happens to a 40-year-old woman? "She enters midlife. That is a good thing. The period between 35 and 55 is the best time in a woman’s life, according to Osman Müftüoğlu, a foremost expert on anti-ageing studies. "Women begin to lose that hormonal veil" in their 40s said Müftüoğlu. This comes with both blessings and curses. First and foremost, according to Müftüoğlu, the lifting of the hormonal veil begins to liberate women sexually. This newfound liberation is not just limited to sexuality, but carries over to emotional and psychological realms as well. "Women become more introspective" during their 40s, said Müftüoğlu. There are two nervous systems that guide us, the parasympathetic nervous system and the sympathetic nervous system. These systems are at work involuntarily but as women grow older they are much better able to harness the power of their parasympathetic nervous system, which is the system that allows us to feel more serene, and allows us to slow down, according to Müftüoğlu. "After the age of 40, women begin to question their relationships, because they give priority to slowing down, they examine their relationships," he said. "And they begin to act a lot more sincere than men," he said.And men during this period? According to Müftüoğlu, men experience anxieties based in questions such as: "Who am I?" "What is my status?" "Have I secured my position?" "Have I succeeded?" and "What is my prize?" That is in direct contrast with women who begin to reflect more on the wideness of their social network and start worrying more about the people around them like husbands, friends or children, according to Müftüoğlu. Women begin to grow without as many anxieties during this period, said Müftüoğlu. "They become more enriched emotionally and come to discover the real meaning of their femininity," he said. "In contrast, men during this period, though they may not always show it, begin to withdraw. This causes panic and fear," he said.
"Medically speaking, women are more creative and more innovative" during their 40s and this means that "they can create whole new lives," according to Müftüoğlu.
Men discover femininity after 50
However, men reach this turning point in their 50s and they become more unisex in between 60 and 65, he said. "But more unisex does not mean being gay-like, it means the femininity inside them breaks out. Men become more sensitive, more proper creatures. Their tendency to violence is reduced." In contrast, men who chase after young women are usually between the ages of 45 and 55. "They have an interest in red sports cars. All of a sudden they start to go to sports centers and they become happy as their lovers’ age decline." Müftüoğlu added that this lifestyle does not continue after the age of 55.
The main reason for that change in men lies in the structure of the sperm, according to Müftüoğlu. A woman’s egg is bigger, stronger and more precious than sperm. Although a woman produces 400 eggs on average throughout her life, a man can produce millions of sperm a day, he said. "This is why women are more precious in nature. Hundreds of thousands of sperms are running after one egg and it accepts only one. This is why a woman decides in relations," said Müftüoğlu.A man’s hurry to chase a woman was in his genetic code even when he was a sperm, according to Müftüoğlu, adding that men have a hurry to impregnate, what is in his mind is what is in the sperm’s mind. Müftüoğlu "blames" the genes instead of men, saying that it is not hormones that shape women and men, but mostly genetic codes.
Some women seem to be ageless, such as Ajda Pekkan and Nebahat Çehre, Turkish singers who are known for all the plastic surgeries they have had, said Müftüoğlu. "They are like Benjamin Button; they are getting younger. I respect them but I also worry about them," he said.
The limit for plastic surgery is decided by the individuals, said Müftüoğlu. However, he said if one is having their 80th surgery at the age of 80, then it is pushing social and medical limits, said Müftüoğlu. "One should have right to remove the wrinkles on their face a bit. But one cannot remove all of them; this is a pathetic situation," he said.
As a woman gets older she comes to a crossroad in her life: menopause. Biologically, women lose some hormones such as estrogen, progesterone and testosterone, said Müftüoğlu, adding that loss of testosterone decreases sexual drive in both women and men. "Nobody can say, I went through menopause but I did not lose my sexual desires. But this is a crisis that can be managed," he said. This is not the only result of menopause, they feel uncomfortably warm and the tendency toward depression increases. It is better for women to share the fact that they have menopause with their partners, so that they can overcome the situation easier together, according to Müftüoğlu.
In his middle ages, a man is in chaos, which is, in a way, bloodier and heavier than women’s experience, said Müftüoğlu. The decrease in sexual desire happens in men too and some of them can hide this with recent medicines such as Viagra. However, he said, Viagra does not solve the problem; it only hides it, because a man’s energy is lower and he is losing testosterone, which cannot be replaced with testosterone. According to Müftüoğlu, Mediterranean and Lebanese women are the most advantageous ones in regards to the effects of menopause because of their body types. They are generally not too overweight and when they gain weight from menopause, they usually do not gain too much, or they gain the weight mostly in their hips, he said. In contrast to the first three or five years of menopause, women become more relaxed and comfortable in the later years, he said.